Posted in Blogger award

Liebster Blogger Award. #3

via WordPress for Windows app.

No matter how many times, it always feel really nice when someone notices your blog.

I wanted to say a big thank you to Keda @ Kedawithani for the nomination. She’s an amazing writer and her blog is one of kind, do check it out.

For the rules and more of the liebster blogger award, click here

Random facts about myself.

1. I’m aware that I can be difficult.

2. I don’t really like sugary food/snacks.

3. According to popular opinion, I’m weird but I don’t care, at all.

4. I over think, even to make the tiniest of  decisions, like what to wear.

5. Most times, I prefer reading a good book than talking to people and socializing.

6. I always do my best to be top in class, no swimming in average for me.

7. I really don’t have a lot of interest in watching movies unless it’s really really good. So I’m open to suggestions of mind-blowing and thrilling movies/ series. And don’t mention the Game of Thrones. Though I would want to know when the season 8, is starting.

8. I love fashion though I’m terrible at it.

9. I lose interest in things easily.

10. I don’t play games, I used too, a lot but I’ve totally lost all interest.

 Keda’s questions.
My answers

1. What’s the most exciting you did this week?

I doubt I did any exciting this week, since I was home by myself through this week.

2. What do you want to be when you grow up?

A lot of things and it all round up to one thing, I want to be on Tv. I want to make money. Probably  as a tv/radio personality. Or probably being interviewed for my book. Maybe as an actress. I would also like to work in publishing.

3. What’s the worst lie you have ever told?

I can’t remember.

4. What came first, the chicken or the egg?

5. Is the glass half full or empty?

I left those last two questions unanswered  because I have to idea how to answer them.

My Questions:

1. What place would you like to visit at least once in your life and why?

2. When was the last time you felt like you wanted to disappear?

3. If you could have dinner with three persons, living or dead, who would they be.

4.  What’s your current favourite movie?

5. How do you manage your work/studies and blogging time?

6. What book would you never get tired of reading?

7. To you, what’s the closest thing to real magic to you?

8. What’s that thing you won’t ever give up on?

For this award, I am nominating bloggers who just joined  my community and some I haven’t. I really appreciate you guys. Though I’m not so familiar with some, but I’ve read a few of their posts and they are real good.
Here it goes:

The writing wave

Kip walkin

asimple view

Her echoed thoughts

Kristin @kristinkravesbooks

Inner revelations

Ovayshea

City of novels

Looking forward to your answers.

Have a lovely week.

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Posted in Motivational Corner

GET ON THE STAGE

Are you one of those persons that when told to speak or perform in front of an audience, end up saying things like “I can’t. I have stage fright.” You sing perfectly in your bedroom but tell yourself you can’t do it in front of anyone else . Ever heard the saying “Fear kills first.”
The thing is we keep limiting ourselves when we tell ourselves ‘we can’t.’ I see a lot of talented persons, friends, that don’t get noticed, that keeps hiding in their shells because they keep looking down at them selves, they don’t believe in themselves, they let fear overwhelmed them, they keep telling themselves things like, ‘I’m not meant for the crowd.’

Who tells you, you have stage fright? No one. You tell yourself that and if you keep on with it, that’s how it’s going to be.

You see someone get on that stage and perform and you know you can do better. You look at that person with longing because deep in your heart, you want to be the one on that stage but you let the fear of failing, of not doing well enough keep you down.

You have to try. You have to push yourself. Its hard, yes. Try first by thinking positive, saying ‘ I can.’ ‘I’ll try my best’.

One thing to note: Practice makes perfect.

There is no magic, the only way to get rid of stage fright is to get on the stage.

Posted in Blog

BACK To SChOOL Tag

Hey guys, how you doing? Hope September is working out the way you plan. I have been nominated for the Back to School Tag by Claire. She has an amazing blog. She writes a lot of poetry and short stories and you should totally check it out. So thank you Claire @ Claire Yang writes. This is my first non award tag, so I feel good about it. Though I would apologize for taking a while to get it done.  It also came at a perfect time. Though I think the high/secondary school semester has already started or is starting real soon but I’m entering the University this year, my first year by God’s grace and the semester is starting later this year. Probably November, I can’t say for now.

So here are the rules for the tag:

  1. Thank the person who tagged you. (#shamelessselfpromo)
  2. Answer the questions.
  3. Post new questions. (Or a blank copy of the old questions, if you’re too lazy to make your own (or you just love my questions))
  4. Tag as many (or as few) people as you want. (Try to make sure they’re still doing school!)
  5. Wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. (I can’t confirm this, BUT I’LL KNOW IF YOU LIE, OKAY? MAGICALLY!)
  6. Don’t die. (Death is terrible for the complexion, dearie)

Her Question

    1. What do you look forward to most this school year?

    It’s going to be first year in the university, so I’m looking forward to the whole ‘college experience’.

    2. What do you look forward to most this school year?

    Definitely staying in the hostel. I’ve gone to check them out and the rooms are real small and you have to share with like four other persons. I’m so not looking forward to that.

    3. What are your goals for this school year?

    Basically to work hard and mostly, to be able to properly manage myself.

    4. What is your favorite and least favorite subject?

     I haven’t started yet, so I can’t say. However, I’m the kind of person even back in high school who does well to like all my subjects/courses.

    5. What are some things that you would like to see change this school year?

    It’s going to be my first year and i want more than anything else for it to treat me well.


    My Questions

    1. What do you look forward to most this school year?

    2.What do you look forward to most this school year?

    3.What are your goals for this school year?

    4.What are some things that you would like to see change this school year?

    5. What would count as a distraction during studies?

    6. How do you plan to deal with them? 

    So I nominate the following bloggers to do this tag.

    There wasn’t an official logo for this tag, so I made mine. You can use the same or create yours too.


    Alaina @ an infinite book world

    namunderthesun

    thr undomestic writer

    Tanya @ glamitupwithtc

    Simple Ula

    Elizabeth @ not so perfect student

    and anyone who wants to do this tag. Just link your answers back to this post.

    {Please don’t feel obligated to do this tag if you’ve done it before or simply don’t want to }

    Wishing you a lovely day. 

    Posted in Nessa's P.O.V

    Be Original

    “YOU WERE BORN AN ORIGINAL
    DON’T DIE A COPY”
    -John Mason

    The first time I read this quote I immediately dismissed it, categorizing it as one of those inspirational quote that isn’t really inspirational. But then I saw the quote again, it was everywhere because it was on the back cover of a bulletin shared in my church on Sunday so everyone in my house had a copy. Reading it again, it sounded differently in my head and I thought a lot about it.

    “You were born an original.
    Don’t die a copy.”

    I thought about those many times I had tried to fit in with some set of people, or into a particular clique. I saw those I called ‘cool girls’ and then I pretended to like what they do and participated in topics I had no interest in just so that I could talk with them. So they would look at me and say, You’re cool” and then I would feel good about myself.

    I thought about those friends I had but I could never really be myself with because they didn’t understand it and would call me ‘weird’. So even though I didn’t really get the humour of the joke they were all laughing about, I smile. So even though I hate teasing and laughing at people behind their backs, I went along with it because they do. It was forced. I was always being conscious of my actions. And there, there were those times I felt like I was really forcing myself, I felt left out,  like I wasn’t wanted, like I was interrupting. It was a sad and lonely thought. So I would tell them ‘Later guys, I have something to do’. Then I would go sit by myself and act like I was busy with stuffs but really just people-watch.

    Looking at people, I thought how many of them are really being themselves? How many of them are pretending to be something they aren’t, so they would fit in and be “accepted”? I wonder how many of them stayed up all night watching some tv show they don’t really like or browse about celebrities they don’t really care about, just so they can ‘participate’. That moment I thought, ‘That’s just…bad.’

    I didn’t know how but I did it. Maybe I do know how but I don’t want to bore you with all the details and make this post so long, you wouldn’t read it to the end and I want you to read it to the end. I broke out of the shell. I stop trying 😣 to force myself on people and worked on being the best version of who I am. The first thing I discovered was that I couldn’t really be close to those friends because we didn’t mix well. Was it hard at first? Yes. Did I lose friends? Some. I made new friends. I was really happy. I was happy with them.

    The others, they respected me. Most weren’t close to me but we would greet each other. We could never talk for hours. I saw the way they looked at me. I liked it. That look that said Well, she’s different ‘ because different isn’t bad after all. Some told me You have changed ‘, but the thing is, I didn’t change bae you just didn’t know me.

    Today when I scroll down my contact list and see the number of – in Nigerian slang ‘my real paddies’. The friends I made by being myself and we happen to mix well. They are really few. I don’t see them much for a number of reasons but when I do see them, talk or chat with them, I feel real giddy and happy much happier than I was with those friends.

    Sometimes I think and wonder about how many people look at me now and try to be ‘copies’. I really wish they wouldn’t. At those weak moments when I find myself unconsciously trying to force myself in, I quickly shake myself and tell myself ‘snap out of it’ . I do and I walk away

    Bottom line is, my friends if you find yourself being ones of those persons, just like I was, trying so hard, too hard to fit in and pretending to be something you are not, then STOP IT. You are being a copy. You born an ORIGINAL. Be ORIGINAL. Live ORIGINAL. It’s really satisfying to find people who love and appreciate you for who you are, trust me. Being unique is simply being yourself, the best version of yourself.




    “An original is hard to find but easy to recognize.” – John Mason .

    Posted in Book blogger

    POSEUR: A fun read

    BOOK TITLE: POSEUR
    AUTHOR: RACHEL MAUDE

    GENRE: CONTEMPORARY, FICTION

    PUBLISHED: 2008

    SERIES: POSEUR

    SERIES SEQUENCE NUMBER: 1

    RATINGS: 4 Stars

    Poseur (n): A person who pretends to be what he/she is not. Charlotte Beverhill, Janie Farrish, Melissa Moon and Petra Greene attend exclusive Winston Prep in the Hollywood Hills. But hang out together? They rather be hanged. Borrow one another’s clothes? They’d sooner borrow a zit. So when these four sophomores are forced into a class to create their own fashion label, they Clash with a capital C. Janie thinks Melissa and Charlotte are Beverley Hills brats. They dismiss Janie as a Valley rat in sheep’s clothing. And Petra…Petra couldn’t care less. Can a cool coquette, a shy punk, a hippie goddess and a ghettoglam egomaniac make beautiful couture together? At Winston Prep, survival of the fittest come down to, who fits in and what fits.

    I don’t normally do book reviews but seeing I have about 300 books in my TBR, mostly ebooks and I have no one to talk about any of them with. My younger sister doesn’t have my time, the teenage genes are kicking it. My friend Sil, has travelled to Kaduna for the holidays (a state in the northern part of Nigeria), so its pretty lonely. Hence the reason for this blog post.

    When I read the synopsis of this book, it had three things that made me drop every other book on my “still reading shelf” to read this; Elite school, Rich kids and Fashion. Besides I was tired of reading books of dire and doom and the fate of the world being in someone’s hands, I needed something fresh. I must say, it was a great idea because I enjoyed the book. I read it in one sitting and it kept me captivated till the end.

    What I Love ?

    I love this book.  I love the story line. Most of all, I love that the plot wasn’t dragged, no unnecessary drama and every scene counted.

    I like Rachel Maude’s style of writing. It’s simple. It was well written. There was a lot of  fashion and high class with teen drama, of course. There was a fair degree of romance in it but on a high school scale.

    ***teaser*** (no spoilers)

    I refuse to go in there,” she informed the other girls.

       “What?” Melissa snapped. For Melissa, the world was pretty much divided between two drives: sex and Rodeo. But while sex drive referred to the overriding impulse to bonk (an urge Melissa couldn’t, for the life of her, understand), Rodeo Drive referred to the overriding impulse to spend (an urge Melissa lived for.) So far, Petra’s low level Rodeo was serious cause for concern. Melissa wondered if she was some kind of pervert. Petra paused to do a quick tally in her head. “Do you realize that 
     mannequin is wearing a total of FIVE animals on her body?”

    “Pet, darling,” Charlotte rolled her eyes. “ That’s why they call it the Rodeo.”
      
    “It’s disgusting and it’s cruel!”

       “You wanna know disgusting and cruel?” Melissa slapped her notebook to her knee. “Keeping us out in eight hundred degree heat, when we could be enjoying ourselves in something called airconditioning.” In addition to air conditioning, Barneys carried   a wraparound Ella Moss dress in a purple and black leopard print that Melissa  had to have

    “I’m goin’ in,” she announced.

       “Go ahead,” Petra folded her arms. “Shop until you drop dead. Like one of those poor, innocent animals.”

       “I can not believe you just said that.” Melissa cringed, her hand on the brass door handle. “We are not shopping. We’re researching.

      “Well, I’m with Petra,” Janie interrupted from her seat on a nearby marble fountain.

       “Sorry” — Melissa knit her eyebrows together — “was someone talkin’ to you?”

    Imagine their surprise when, instead of the repentant whisper, Janie launched into a full fledged rant.

       “We’re about to throw some huge launch party for a label that exists why?” she bounded to her feet. “Because we say it does? Do you realize how incredibly lame that is?! It’s like NASA announcing the launch of a space shuttle and then everyone   shows up and they like, fly a paper airplane! Except, wait. We don’t even have a paper airplane. We don’t have anything!”

       The three girls stared at Janie with a mixture of awe and disbelief.

    * * *

     It was interesting to read about these four girls with different personalities working together to form a fashion label that started up as a special class – as well as dealing with their personal drama – and a friendship.

    There are three other books in the series and my hands are already on them.

    Final note: If you have read Kelvin Kwan’s Crazy rich Asians and you enjoyed it (I did) or the former tv series, Jane by Design, then you will love this book.

    * * *

    This is my first time of doing something like this. I won’t exactly call it a review, it’s more of me just talking about one of my many likes.
    Anyways, feel free to rate me.

    Posted in Everything We See

    We Must Do Better

    via WordPress for Windows app.

    “We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We don’t teach boys to care about being likeable. We spend too much time telling girls that they cannot be angry or aggressive or tough, which is bad enough, but then we  turn around and either praise or excuse men for the same reasons. All over the world, there are so many magazine articles and books telling women what to do, how to be and not to be, in order to attract or please men. There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women.

    Gender matters everywhere in the world. And I would like today to ask that we should begin to dream about and plan for a different world. A fairer world. A world of happier men and happier women who are truer to themselves. And this is how to start: we must raise our daughters differently. We must also raise our sons differently.

    We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage.

       We teach boys to be afraid of fear, of weakness, of  vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves, because they have to be, in Nigerianspeak, a hard man.

       In secondary school, a boy and a girl go out, both of them teenagers with meagre pocket money. Yet the boy is expected to pay the bills, always, to prove his masculinity. (And we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.)

       What if both boys and girls were raised not to link masculinity and money? What if their attitude was not ‘the boy has to pay’, but rather, ‘whoever  has more should pay’? Of course, because of their historical advantage, it is mostly men who will have more today. But if we start raising children differently, then in fifty years, in a hundred years, boys will no longer have the pressure of proving their masculinity by material means.

       But by far the worst thing we do to males – by making them feel they have to be hard – is that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is.

       And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males.

       We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller.

       We say to girls, ‘You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. If you are the breadwinner in your relationship with a man, pretend that you are not, especially in public, otherwise you will emasculate him.’

       But what if we question the premise itself? Why should a woman’s success be a threat to a man? What if we decide to simply dispose of that word – and I don’t know if there is an English word I dislike more than this – emasculation.

    Because I am female, I’m expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Marriage can be a good thing, a source of joy, love and mutual support. But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage, yet we don’t teach boys to do the same?

       It is easy to say, ‘But women can just say no to all this.’ But the reality is more difficult, more complex. We are all social beings. We internalize ideas from our socialization.Our society teaches a woman at a certain age who is unmarried to see it as a deep personal failure. While a man at a certain age who is unmarried has not quite come around to making his pick.
      
    We teach females that in relationships, compromise is what a woman is more likely to do.We police girls. We praise girls for virginity but we don’t praise boys for virginity (and it makes me wonder how exactly this is supposed to work out, since the loss of virginity is a process that usually involves two people of opposite genders).

    The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations.

       All of us, women and men, must do better.”


    – Chiamanda Ngozi Adichie

    We Should All Be Feminist

    Posted in Blog, Nessa's P.O.V, Uncategorized

    Dear Diary,

    I remember the first time I decided to keep a diary. I was nine or ten year old, I had just watched the Barbie Diaries; Barbie with a diary that she thought was magical because everything she wrote in it came true. So I told my elder sister, she was a year and half older than me. So we cut off papers and sew them together. She painted the cover for me and drew lovely stickers on it. It was great but I could never maintained it.

    I didn’t write what back then I thought was a secret because I thought why try so hard to keep something to myself only to write it down and someone comes across it and reads it. So I stop keeping it.

    Two years past, I try the diary thing again, I would write out random things like what I did, what I ate, how school treated me, but I still didn’t write what back then I thought were secrets in it like who I crushed on because I thought what if one of my sisters, or mum or dad come across it. I try to write random things on it everyday but some days, it slips my mind and I forget. I thought there were important things I should be doing rather than sitting here writing some stories that might come not to mean anything later. So I stopped.

    Last year, I started again. Why? I thought this time I’d write out what I felt about what happens. I discovered then that the pen couldn’t really capture exactly what I felt and sometimes when I sit down to write, I find out I can’t remember how I felt.

    The thing is, life is so vast and I think  its a human nature to try to capture and keep every moment. Except that, we can’t. As human grow older, memories fade and we find ourselves grasping blurry images. But it doesn’t stops us for trying. Though there are those days or moments we can’t ever forget, forever imprinted in our minds.

    So am I against keeping diaries? No, no, of course not. I will probably start writing one again. When? I have no idea.  I keep the former ones and when I read then, I’m hit with flashbacks of stuffs that happened back then and I smile.

    In the words of Ed Sheeran,
    “We keep this love in a photograph
    We make these memories for ourselves
    Where our eyes are never close
    Hearts are never broken
    And time is forever frozen still.”

    So no matter how some of us might criticize social networks; Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, they have given us a place where we can store and share these memories.

    It doesn’t matter how you do, (Writings, Pictures), it’s all, a Dear Diary.

    * * *
    Quote of the day
    .

    “Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means that you have decided to look beyond your problems”

    Look beyond your problems, Let God take control, Be happy.

    With love,

    Nessa. 💕